Bart the Daredevil

I've done everything the Bible says; even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff! Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix.

Bart the Daredevil

I've done everything the Bible says — even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff! Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix. I'm allergic to bee stings. They cause me to, uh, die. I prefer a vehicle that doesn't hurt Mother Earth. It's a go-cart, powered by my own sense of self-satisfaction.

Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk

Kids, kids. I'm not going to die. That only happens to bad people. Lisa, vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and Eskimos. Duffman can't breathe! OH NO! I hope I didn't brain my damage. …And the fluffy kitten played with that ball of string all through the night. On a lighter note, a Kwik-E-Mart clerk was brutally murdered last night.

  • I stand by my racial slur.
  • Thank you, steal again.
  • But, Aquaman, you cannot marry a woman without gills. You're from two different worlds… Oh, I've wasted my life.

Homer the Great

Jesus must be spinning in his grave! Please do not offer my god a peanut. Uh, no, you got the wrong number. This is 9-1…2. D'oh.

Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk

Dear Mr. President, There are too many states nowadays. Please, eliminate three. P.S. I am not a crackpot. And now, in the spirit of the season: start shopping. And for every dollar of Krusty merchandise you buy, I will be nice to a sick kid. For legal purposes, sick kids may include hookers with a cold. Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and then the baby looked at me. Slow down, Bart! My legs don't know how to be as long as yours.

  1. …And the fluffy kitten played with that ball of string all through the night. On a lighter note, a Kwik-E-Mart clerk was brutally murdered last night.
  2. I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming.
Bart the Daredevil

I've had it with this school, Skinner. Low test scores, class after class of ugly, ugly children… Jesus must be spinning in his grave! Oh, so they have Internet on computers now! Beer. Now there's a temporary solution.