Duffless

Duffman can't breathe! OH NO! Kids, kids. I'm not going to die. That only happens to bad people.

Duffless

Duffman can't breathe! OH NO! Kids, kids. I'm not going to die. That only happens to bad people. Jesus must be spinning in his grave! Dear Mr. President, There are too many states nowadays. Please, eliminate three. P.S. I am not a crackpot. Oh, everything looks bad if you remember it. I'm a Spalding Gray in a Rick Dees world.

Natural Born Kissers

Stan Lee never left. I'm afraid his mind is no longer in mint condition. Jesus must be spinning in his grave! Slow down, Bart! My legs don't know how to be as long as yours.

  • A lifetime of working with nuclear power has left me with a healthy green glow…and left me as impotent as a Nevada boxing commissioner.
  • But, Aquaman, you cannot marry a woman without gills. You're from two different worlds… Oh, I've wasted my life.

The Last Temptation of Homer

Dear Mr. President, There are too many states nowadays. Please, eliminate three. P.S. I am not a crackpot. Remember the time he ate my goldfish? And you lied and said I never had goldfish. Then why did I have the bowl, Bart? *Why did I have the bowl?* Uh, no, you got the wrong number. This is 9-1…2. Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try. Thank you, steal again. Marge, you being a cop makes you the man! Which makes me the woman — and I have no interest in that, besides occasionally wearing the underwear, which as we discussed, is strictly a comfort thing.

Cape Feare

Get ready, skanks! It's time for the truth train! I hope I didn't brain my damage. I'll keep it short and sweet — Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business. Duffman can't breathe! OH NO!

  1. A lifetime of working with nuclear power has left me with a healthy green glow…and left me as impotent as a Nevada boxing commissioner.
  2. Kids, kids. I'm not going to die. That only happens to bad people.
  3. Jesus must be spinning in his grave!
Life on the Fast Lane

Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use. Jesus must be spinning in his grave! When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV! Thank you, steal again. Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get.